Sony ericsson k750i Rs.7500
Ipod touch Rs.17000
The look on a guy's face when all of these are flicked from his room when he goes to pee - absolutely priceless.
This heart breaking incident was followed up with our victim posting up an ip condemning this act and asking the pepetrator to "search for humanity within yourself", presumably to persuade the guy to return the afore mentioned items. Obviously his wallet was stolen the next day, prompting a more muted ip this time. Reminds me of an smail spam thread titled 'Why did you "thefting" my laptop'. Last I heard they were debating the merits and demerits of wearing 'glow in the dark' socks.
This story led me to reflect on my own experiences as a robbery victim. It was not long ago, just a couple of weeks actually, and in my case it was not by stealth, but by force. I knew what was coming. I knew the culprit but I could do nothing to protect myself or my belonging(s).
It happened on my way to class. I was walking to CLT via guru when I saw him. We eyed each other for a moment, each sizing the other up. Then our gazes dropped simultaneously towards the olive coloured, pear shaped, pear in my hands. He wanted it. I could sense it. Fear crept up within me. I turned expectantly,to my friend who was walking right next to me, or so I thought. Instead I found him running back to guru hogging his own bloody apple. "$#@#&...". A friend in need indeed. So, with my hopes of Jackie Chan-Cris Tucker style kung-fu whoop ass double team dashed, I rapidly evaluated my options:
Option 1
Seduction
I unbuttoned my top button and rolled up my sleeves. Clearly I was doing something wrong because his focus remained on the pear. I had embarassed myself for no reason.
Strike one
Option 2
Move super fast before he blinks and stick a carrot through his eye. But that would mean copyright violation. Clive Owen would fry my ass.
Strike two
While I was contemplating all this I hadn't noticed that he had made his move and was now barely two inches from me. Eeek!!.
That brings me to option 3
Run away screaming like a little girl. I did.
Strike three.
Monkey stole my fruit.
Needless to say it took days for my trauma to subside. Why would he do that? Why would he "thefting" my pear? Most of my wing mates have also had stuff stolen from them by monkeys. One particular rumour is that a monkey stole his virginity.
Such horrible acts have caused so many wars, and conflicts through the ages, but they never learn. Like the Trojan war for example, cos Paris stole Helen. This is a scandalous practice, in the leagues of John Terry or Ashley Cole.
(Incidentally when questioned on that affair a Man U fan had this to say
"Machan, they should both be dropped da. Capello should just pick Owen instead."
Beat that Carlton Palmer.)
Totally get your sentiments with the monkey. It's happened to me twice. Once outside Tiff when I had to relinquish a whole Milk Bikis pack after an attempt at throwing a paper plate as a proxy for food backfired and lead to more aggression and two days back outside Godav where I had to let go of a twenty Rs Cadbury bar, screw these apes man, I felt like punching that thing in the head or shooing it but was scared that it would bite me arbitly. If I had one wish it would be to bludgeon one of those primates to death. I would have used some more derogatory words given my state of mind after the monkey stole my cadbury but for the sake of decency will stop with that :)
ReplyDeleteuse my former wingmates' methods... achaar used to run after them with a broom, while IP actually dropped steaming hot water on those thefters...
ReplyDeleteWord is, those 2 are still portrayed as demons in monkey-lore...
and the monkeys would rather steal from a hungry dog than either of them...
@ SK
ReplyDeleteYeah dude its seriously painful.. when you're particularly hungry and in a hurry for class and this shit happens. On top of this they put up sign boards saying we shouldn't "encourage them" to beg and steal. Riiight.
@ Jaanwar
Steaming hot water haha :D:D...GOD.
Nowadays 4P has also started chasing them with an old CPU cabinet lying in the wing. Others use hockey sticks :)
Haha, Very nicely written. I bet everyone in insti has their "fond memory with the monkey" to add; here's mine:
ReplyDeleteA monkey once stole my canon camera, allured by the colourful box it was in I suppose. It realized, (as I stared in horror) that it was not grub and tossed it aside discarding it as useless, while causing it to fall through about 20 feet in gravity.
And my 6 year old cousin, who visited me in insti last month shrieked, "Oh there's a monkey! How cute!"
Grrr! :X