Dial M for Mood Swings

I have recently been diagnosed with a mild form of multiple personality disorder, more commonly known as mood dependence or mood swings. This revelation would certainly explain my sudden bouts of memory loss particularly during exams. With this in mind, I decided to investigate a few of my illustrious peers, to decide upon the next course of action.

Ambi/Remo/Anniyan - Probably the most famous example in  this corner of the world. Ambi (pronounced 'humpy' with  a silent h) is a fundamentally sad person who has 2 major goals in his life and spawns 2 alternative identities to achieve said goals, the lover a.k.a Remo (pronounced 'Ray-Moo' generally with a soft moan) and the hair model "The ANNIYAN" ( pronounced "aargh!!" ). As a side story "The ANNIYAN" also wants to punish negligence, lack of compassion (etc) and therefore embarks on a killing spree. In the end the truth is discovered and he is sent to a secret facility *cough* Arkham *cough* for treatment. 

Contrary to popular belief this was not simply a technique used to conveniently separate the 3 main aspects a standard Tamil film (humour, romance and violence) and illustrate how they join together as one package in the end like a film making workshop.This was in fact a genuinely serious film as clearly demonstrated by Yana Gupta's meaningful cameo. The important fact to note is that he was treated with compassion and sent for experimentation treatment. 

Pregnancy - The oldest known example. Fully licensed to go cuckoo whenever and wherever they may please. Out of respect for my mother I will not make any jokes here. They are treated with reverence, extreme respect and no small amount of caution.

At this juncture I must point out that MPD seems to be spreading quite rapidly, since some of my friends too, seem to have suddenly spawned alternative identities, with a desire to save the environment as is evident here and here. To me however, the phrase going green will always mean one and only one thing.

Which in turn brings me to my third example "THE HULK". As with all changes in nature, the presence of a driving force is necessary to induce MPD. The hulk is splendid example in the category of "Artificially induced multiple personality disorder" or AIMPD in short (ie) the inducing of cuckooness through the effect of any external chemical agents on the body. Note: pregnancy does not come under this category.

In THE HULK's case it is gamma rays.  As a result of experiments which he performed on himself, Bruce Banner, whenever he gets angry transforms into the person we have all come to know and love. 

Please note that he is not however "your friendly neighbourhood HULK" and if you tick him off, he will eat you. The HULK is being unfairly hunted by governments (racism's latest avatar) and as a consequence has gone into hiding. Those who knew him well describe him to be a deeply religious and pious human being.

Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - An example from classical literature. The severity of the condition necessitated special drugs to bring him back to his normal state. Nobody knows what actually happened to him. This lack of evidence leads me to believe that this story may be fictitious.

For today's internet savvy generation, perhaps the most prominent yet unnoticed example        

This is rumored to be the plot origin for Anniyan.

This wide disparity in public reaction to these cases has forced me to keep my secret under wraps. Hence, I have decided that my alter ego will remain hidden until such time as the world needs her.

PS: No offence meant to anybody

Note: Smileys courtesy eternal thinker

Senor "Bend it"ez

Rafa Benitez has always been accused of showing no emotion, not celebrating even when we score a winning penalty shootout kick. His passion towards the cause has been questioned. Riera recently accused him of being too cold and aloof towards the players, even during training.

Well get a load of this !!


Go to 0:22 and 1:38 

Hope that will be the BPL trophy next year. sigh!

Little more practice on holdup play then ?

You steal, I steal

Scientific calculator Rs.700

Sony ericsson k750i Rs.7500

Ipod touch Rs.17000

The look on a guy's face when all of these are flicked from his room when he goes to pee - absolutely priceless.

      This heart breaking incident was followed up with our victim posting up an ip condemning this act and asking the pepetrator to "search for humanity within yourself", presumably to persuade the guy to return the afore mentioned items. Obviously his wallet was stolen the next day, prompting a more muted ip this time. Reminds me of an smail spam thread titled 'Why did you "thefting" my laptop'. Last I heard they were debating the merits and demerits of wearing 'glow in the dark' socks.

This story led me to reflect on my own experiences as a robbery victim. It was not long ago, just a couple of weeks actually, and in my case it was not by stealth, but by force. I knew what was coming. I knew the culprit but I could do nothing to protect myself or my belonging(s).
  It happened on my way to class. I was walking to CLT via guru when I saw him. We eyed each other for a moment, each sizing the other up. Then our gazes dropped simultaneously towards the olive coloured, pear shaped, pear in my hands. He wanted it. I could sense it. Fear crept up within me. I turned expectantly,to my friend who was walking right next to me, or so I thought. Instead I found him running back to guru hogging his own bloody apple. "$#@#&...". A friend in need indeed. So, with my hopes of Jackie Chan-Cris Tucker style kung-fu whoop ass double team dashed, I rapidly evaluated my options:

Option 1
Seduction
I unbuttoned my top button and rolled up my sleeves. Clearly I was doing something wrong because his focus remained on the pear. I had embarassed myself for no reason.

Strike one

Option 2
Move super fast before he blinks and stick a carrot through his eye. But that would mean copyright violation. Clive Owen would fry my ass.

Strike two

While I was contemplating all this I hadn't noticed that he had made his move and was now barely two inches from me. Eeek!!.

That brings me to option 3

Run away screaming like a little girl. I did.

Strike three.

Monkey stole my fruit.

Needless to say it took days for my trauma to subside. Why would he do that? Why would he "thefting" my pear? Most of my wing mates have also had stuff stolen from them by monkeys. One particular rumour is that a monkey stole his virginity.

       Such horrible acts have caused so many wars, and conflicts through the ages, but they never learn. Like the Trojan war for example, cos Paris stole Helen. This is a scandalous practice, in the leagues of John Terry or Ashley Cole.

 (Incidentally when questioned on that affair a Man U fan had this to say

"Machan, they should both be dropped da. Capello should just pick Owen instead."

 Beat that Carlton Palmer.)

Anyway as I was saying. Pls don't "thefting" anymore.